Farm Life – Part 3

Sunday 1st May

I got the train from Melbourne (CLICK HERE TO READ ABOUT MELBOURNE) to swan hill and Andy came to pick me up, before he got there I went to target to buy some work out trousers as I had decided that I was getting on the case with the exercise from tomorrow onwards!

We went food shopping and then drove back to the house which is a couple of hours from swan hill. When we get to a certain area on the roads (once it gets to their land basically) the beers come out! So we drank a beer on the way back and then when we got back made food drank beer and waited for Tarsh and Dan to get back from South Australia where they had been visiting her parents.

Mon 2nd – wed 4th may

The first 3 days back I spent cleaning the house, looking after Dan and getting on the case with my exercising! I downloaded an app with 7 minute exercises so I would do a few of those a day and also take Dan for a run in the pram!

He likes to watch me do the exercise videos, I guess it’s because I look so stupid when I’m doing them, oh well just as long as he isn’t crying and I can get them done that’s all that matters.

I had gone healthy crazy and was making lots of healthy food, like quiches and avocado truffles and a dip with the radish leaves! – healthy healthy healthy – it always starts off so well doesn’t it haha.

Thursday 5th May

I woke up feeling absolutely awful! I felt so ill and couldn’t breathe properly or anything but I didn’t just want to sit in bed and feel sorry for myself so I thought I would get out and do some exercise still, so I did some videos and then decided to go for a jog with one of the dogs but not Dan this time as he was in bed.

So I’m running around the dam and see something in the corner of my eye and think…

‘Hmmmm….is one of the other dogs off?’

I carry on running then I see something in the corner of my eye again running up the bank and think

‘Fuck…..I know it’s not the dog as it’s just ran down by me, fuck it’s a fox!’

So the fox comes running out of the dam and then the dog is chasing the fox! I don’t really want to see this fox get massacred in front of me so I’m screaming at the dog to stop chasing the fox and running after them!

‘It’s a pretty big fox!!’

The dog then bites the fox but jumps up and then I think it realised that I am trying to save it from the dog so the fox then starts trying to run over to me, I have to start running away but trying to tell the dog not to kill the fox, eventually we go past a tree and the fox then jumps in the tree away from the dog but the dog is still trying to kill the fox. I eventually go over and grab her and make her come with me!


I go back to the house and tell Tarsh about the eventful run I have just had and wait a little bit and then decide that I will go back out for a run but go the other way around so the dog can’t come with me, but when I go back out the dog is there staring into the bushes and I walk over and there it is……the fox!!! Having a staring contest with the dog! I just grabbed cashi and then ran at the fox and then it ran away, thank god!

Ok so I am definitely done with running for the day now, so I went back inside and then me and Tarsh went out with Dan to go try to move some cattle, there was a baby cow and its mother that didn’t go with the rest of the group so we were trying to move them towards the group, the mother was having none of it and kept running off, we finally got them near the cattle yards where we could leave them over night and try push them a little further the next day when the mom jumped over the fence leaving her calf behind, she did this 3 times so we just gave up and knew that the calf couldn’t get through the fence so they would stay there and we could try again the next day when

I just started feeling worse and worse. I felt so so ill I just had to lay on the sofa and have a nap and dose myself up on tablets while Tarsh made dinner and woke me up for it, I hardly ate any and then went to bed feeling sorry for myself.

Friday 6th May

I woke up feeling surprisingly better which was nice because I felt like I was nearing the end last night and all I wanted was to be home around my family and of course Toby the Chihuahua to come and cuddle me – Waaaa I miss him so much.


Of course I got out did some exercise by doing my workout videos while Dan sits in the pushchair watching me probably wondering what the hell I am doing jumping around in front of him, and then we all went back out to move the cattle again, but now there were more cattle as there were 2 other mothers who had heard the ones we had moved and gone over to them. It took us a couple of hours to move them but it was a lot easier this time that there were more of them, the one from the day before did want to keep running away but didn’t because the others were there. On the way back Tarsh let me ride the bike again, I was pretty nervous but managed to do it without falling off this time and actually got over 30km and managed to stop ok haha, so I was pretty happy with my self.

After this me and Tarsh went and got ourselves ready and headed on into Moulamein as Tarsh had got us tickets for a woman’s night called women in water, where there would be a few speakers on how to manage the water supplies out here because water is so valuable here. We went and picked up her friends from farms on the way and of course we get there late and have to sneak in through the kitchen – the main thing I was upset about was that we missed the starters!

After the first guy finished talking about water pipes and other stuff I didn’t understand we managed to find a table but no one else was sat there so it meant that when they brought all the food out we had it all to the 3 of us instead of the supposed to be 9. So that was me all sorted for the night, the food was really good too and add some Canadian club into the mix and I had a winner!!

Then there was a guy on talking about succession planning in farming which was actually really interesting to listen to as it’s not something I would ever have thought about but long story short is that a lot of farms here are run by families and they don’t seem to plan for the future properly. They pass the farms onto their children who may want to run the farms in different ways to what they had wanted and they still stick around, or they give the farm to one of their children in their wills and then when the time comes the will gets disputed etc. and can cause a lot of family arguments.

After him we had a really nice guy come on and talk about depression and suicide, and I was just thinking we had come to hear about water!! He told us his story about how he owned a farm and would work work work, hardly getting any sleep at all, and he eventually became depressed and suicidal but that he got help and wanted to help others.

I feel for him as it’s such a difficult thing to try and deal with let alone stand in front of people talking about especially while still dealing with it as I could see him shaking up there. So everyone was listening to him and feeling for him when this bloody woman on the table in front of us started shouting things out to him. He was talking about feeling like he wanted to kill himself and she screamed – woooooooooo!!!

He brushed her off and continued speaking and then she shouted out ‘we live to die…’ I was in shock at this woman because she looked a mess anyway and then she was being so rude to him, I felt so sorry for this man but luckily he brushed it off quite well and got a big round of applause when he finished.

So anyways……after all the speakers were done, everyone got up and moved around and this crazy lady came over to the table we were sat on and started speaking to the woman next to me, she nearly fell off her chair a few times and starting hugging everyone, she then turned to me and asked me who I was, she then told me I was kissable and grabbed my face and started kissing me all over my face! Brilliant! Thanks a lot for that. – Lets go now please!

We get back to the house around midnight and Andy is in a terrible mood, Dan is still awake in his cot with the light on screaming his head off, Andy comes out shouts and says he’s going to bed, so we get Dan up and give him a bottle and get him to go to sleep, laughing a bit at Andy! – It’s not the easiest thing in the world looking after a screaming little baby haha.

Saturday 7th May

I spent the day looking after Dan, doing the rubbish etc. and just a chill out day mostly, until the evening and then we went over to a farm just past Moulamein for an art evening, as they started doing these art evenings a few years back where they have an artist come over and stay with you for a week and make things out of items they find on the farm and then lots of neighbours come round and there’s a bonfire and food and people sing.

So I had a brilliant night here, the food was absolutely amazing!! There was pumpkin soup, and then some sort of Thai curry broth thing which was a god damn sensation and Singapore noodles. I had some of each and I also went up for seconds on the noodles they were so good.

There were pieces of art all over the place lit up by candles which made everywhere look really pretty, with a big bonfire in the middle and then at the back was an old shearing shed where all the food was and they had a few people singing, it was a really good night.

I obviously ended up being rather drunk chatting shit to anyone and everyone, Tarsh and Andy’s friend was making me laugh his name is suddo, he was telling me that a proper Australian does say AUSTRALIA it’s called STRALIA! So I was walking around with my wine saying I’m travelling STRALIA.

Then a girl from England came over to me who was working as an au pair for another family, she was from somewhere up north and a little difficult to understand for Tarsh and Andy, but they were finding us both quite funny to listen to, as she was saying she sounded like a man and I sounded very posh.

We went back home around midnight, and cracked open a bottle of wine and chatted around the table for a bit before deciding to go to bed, I had been smoking all night so decided to have another ciggy outside. I was quite drunk at this point and I remember finding a frog hoping around because it had started pissing it down. So I started chasing the frog around trying to touch it and then went back inside to get into bed, but it took me about 20minutes to take my trousers off because I had socks on over the top of them at the bottom, and naturally I was making a heap of snapchats……oh the drunken snap chat shame! At least they disappear within 24 hours. The 11minute long video saved on my phone of me trying to remove my trousers with my huge belly in the shot to however not so much! And no I am not putting it up on here! Haha.

Although I did try to upload it to my YouTube channel by the looks of it but thankfully the WiFi here is rubbish so it didn’t work!! Thank fuck for that.

Sunday 8th May

Naturally I woke up feeling rather hungover and ashamed of myself. I woke up quite late feeling ever so sick and without any water by the side of my bed so I felt like I was drying up! I dragged my body out of bed and went into the living room/kitchen to find that it was absolutely pissing it down outside which means nothing can be done anywhere, so we all sat on the sofas all day long watching movies, eating 2mintute noodles and napping!

It was glorious!!!

Monday 9th May

We all woke up quite early on Monday and were out of the house by 8am, it was mother’s day in Australia yesterday so we were going to see Andy’s parents today. They live about 2 hours away in a small town.

There were a couple of dogs there for me to play with and I stayed at the house with Dan and Andy’s parents while Tarsh went shopping for food and Andy went to go pick up his new car and wouldn’t be back that night.

We stayed there for a couple of hours and then me, Tarsh and Dan went back to the house, had some food and then sat in front of the telly with some popcorn and chocs watching Sweeney Todd.

Tuesday 10th – Saturday 14th May

The rest of the week was spent pretty much the same way, looking after Dan, doing exercise, bits of cleaning and making healthy food and helping with the odd bits of sheep work.

I also gave Dan his first chocolate experience and I think its fair to say he got a little bit addicted…

Then Saturday we all had to pack up as Tarsh, Andy and Dan are going on holidays and I am going to stay with Tarsh’s sister for a couple of weeks and also go and see Tarsh and Andy on their holidays, to be honest I am not completely sure what I’m doing so I guess we shall find out soon hey……….

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Melbourne part 2

Wednesday 27th April

The drive to Melbourne took around 6 hours, it’s strange to me now thinking of that amount of time driving somewhere isn’t that long. I guess being here you get used to the long journeys.

Andy drove and I stayed awake for this journey and it was pretty cool to see the landscape change so much, going from flat bush land to towns, to bright red soils to hills and trees with massive boulders and then finally ending up in the city.

We arrived into Melbourne around 4ish and I went to the apartment that Andy was staying in and did some freshening up and then cracked open a few beers.

Rocket (the beautiful man) turned up a bit later and we headed on to a bar called Leonards house of love which is a pretty cool bar, Christy aka ‘little one’ came and met us and we had a couple more drinks and got some food too. Then Andy and rocket had to leave to make it to their comedy show. Me and Christy then finished our drinks while talking about the beautiful man and all the things we would like to do to him or him to us haha, and then we grabbed an uber over to her old house.

She was moving into a new shared house which was smaller and which meant she had her own room rather than sharing like she was in the current house, so we packed up her stuff and then got another uber over to her new pad only to find that there was no shower, no fridge and we had to be out of the place each morning by 7am. FML!

We opened some wine and Christy’s new housemate brought in her own bottle of wine that she made as she is a sommelier who also makes wine, it was pretty good. Then we decided to go out for food, but everywhere was closing and we walked around quite a few places to try and find good food but eventually ended up in subway.

I ended up being rather drunk and ended up finding statues of naked men to have some fun with, and a pram on the side of the road which naturally i had to jump into!

Thursday 28th April

We woke up early on Thursday feeling slightly tired and a bit hungover after the few wines and beers from the night before, Christy’s housemate came and knocked on our door at 7:50 and we left with her to go to a very cute little place for coffee.

After we grabbed coffee me and Christy jumped on a tram over to St. Kilda for this amazing breakfastand did some shopping. We also went for a stroll down the beach but it started raining, so we sat down and pondered life and what we were going to do with the rest of the day and we eventually decided on going to the cinema so we caught the tram back to the city but once we got there it had stopped raining so we decided to go shopping instead.

We went to some charity shops and I got some jackets as the weather is getting a little colder now and especially in Melbourne, while we were out shopping we saw ‘Dame Edna’ strolling the streets in her PJ’s and an entourage of sexy men in onesies… you do! Unfortunately I couldn’t get a good photo and Christy wouldn’t go back with me to get one as she had no idea who she was haha.

After our little spot of shopping we went and met Christy’s friend Danielle that she met while travelling the coast, we sat in front of the library and had some sushi and then headed to an Irish bar as I was craving a pint of Guinness, so we searched google for the closest Irish bar and went there, when we got there though it seemed more like an old man’s bar not an Irish bar but they did serve Guinness so I wasn’t too fussy.

After that we decided to go to Asian beer café for a spot of pizza salad and some cocktails as it was happy hour, the glasses were also pretty beautiful so I stole 3 of them for little ones new house and of course to drink the mountain of wine that Tarsh had gave me, so we finished our pizza salad and cocktails and went back to little ones pad where we drank lots of wine and I ended up feeling extremely pissed and passed out on little ones bed for a little while the room spinning with me, I was woken up a bit later to some fried chicken from the shop downstairs and omg what a taste sensation that was!! But I wasn’t satisfied so naturally I ordered lots of food for delivery hardly ate any of it and fell asleep.

Friday 29th April

so again we woke up early and got out the house around 7am, the weather was horrendous and I had to borrow one of Christy’s rain jackets, I was wearing my cardi and the rain jacket, aren’t I supposed to be in Australia??

So we caught the tram over to see Danielle and we stayed there for a few hours lay on the sofa watching the inbetweeners as little one had never seen them, I found weighing scales in the bathroom and discovered that I had put on a whole 2 stone since leaving home! Oh dear lord! No wonder I have gone up 2 sizes in clothes, whoops.

once we had re-joined the world we decided to go out in the rain and go to a Chinese place for dumplings which were oh so good, but I couldn’t finish them because I had just been stuffing my face with sushi (I have no idea how I put on those 2 stone at all) so I asked for a box to take them away in and then we went onto a big charity shop called savers where I bought some more things that I don’t need but oh well.


Feeling dead to the world we head back to little ones, hoping that the workers will be gone so we can have a shower before heading out to the football, but they are still there so no showering possible! I make the best of my disgusting self and then we leave to go watch the aussie football and Etihad stadium, unfortunately we were not surrounded by lots of beautiful men also watching the game like we had hoped but it was still good to watch although a little confusing.

We had absolutely no idea what was going on or who ended up winning but it was still really fun to watch, when we left we went over to Christy’s old pad to see her old house mates and drink some wine and sangria before going out to a 90’s bar. We called an uber to get there and the driver we had was playing Adel when we got in the car which we naturally requested him to turn up and for us all to sing along at the top of our voices and dance!  – I do love uber a lot more than taxi’s as you actually get fun normal people!

The 90’s bar was great at first. The music was bloody excellent but it got busier and busier and – now I’m going to sound like an old boring person but I cannot stand extremely busy clubs where I can’t move, Christy and Danielle went off to dance and then I couldn’t find them for a while so I was stood around drinking and finally had enough and left for a sensational kebab! – Again no idea why I have put on 2 stone! Haha

Little one and Danielle came out the 90’s place a little while later and we caught an uber back home where I completely passed out.

Saturday 30th April

Little one got up early and went to work, and left me in bed. I ended up waking up around 1pm feeling incredibly lazy and tired so I literally spent the whole day in bed – what a waste but oh so enjoyable.

Little one got back around 6pm and we went to the taco place that was next to her house and omg it was bloody incredible! I am so jealous she lives right next to all these amazing food places! But probably for the best I don’t live there otherwise I imagine I would be needing a crane to get me out of buildings pretty soon!

After we had tacos we went over to her old house for a wine and cheese night. There was so much cheese there it was amazing! I was honestly expecting very cheap cheese and a limited amount considering everyone is a backpacker and cheese is fucking expensive over here!! My tiny little block of contributed cheese cost me $6.

Ahhh the cheese! It was so good, we all savaged that table!! It was so hard to stop but oh so good!  So we stayed stuffing our faces for a while longer and then sat outside for a bit on the sofas, smoking and drinking wine – I love the outside of this place. It’s so cool with all the sofas and graffiti on the walls.

We then went back to little ones, I finally had a shower and felt so amazing after walking around feeling so disgusting and just knowing that I stunk! Haha and then me and little one said goodbye as I was leaving the next day and she would get up before me for work.

Sunday 1st May

So I woke up around 8am and packed all my stuff up and walked over the road to the market– again so super jealous she lives so close to the market! They have so much stuff there, loads of veg and meat, and hot food! Waaaa…….I wish I lived by that market!! So I go over there with the massive bag that Tarsh let me borrow! It’s a great back but extremely awkward to carry! So I get some very strange looks and a lot of comments about how big my bag is! ‘Yes I fucking know thank you!!’

So I went over there spent about $20 on lots of salad stuff as I seriously need to sort my life out now haha and then went over to the train station grabbed a coffee and a few sandwiches for the journey and hoped on the train got my laptop out ready to watch some walking dead and realised that 1. It wasn’t charged and 2. It’s now broken with a big crack on the screen! Brilliant! I guess I will just look out the window then lol.

Back onto farm life part 3 – CLICK HERE




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